Space Wanderer

I had a dream the other night, and in it I found myself wandering and drifting throughout the cosmos with two of the most beautiful unnamed women I’ve ever met in my life. I should be happy, it’s everything I could ever ask for and yet, I can’t help but think if this is worth my time? I glance out to the giant blue planet where I cultivated some of my best friendships and relationships and feel empty inside knowing that I left it all behind. Was it out of obligation or perhaps fear? Maybe a bit of both with a side of social pressure on top of it? Definitely the last one. It’s funny, I always considered myself the most mature one of the lot but I feel like my inner voice is giving me conflicting thoughts. I want to be independent but I don’t want that to come at the cost of sacrificing all that I care about. I’ve invested so much time in my relationships because I know that is what I care about the most. I don’t want to be driven by the sensual pleasures of life as my means to get out of bed on a daily basis. I was initially so happy I was given the chance to be welcomed aboard the ship but is it wrong to feel that my calling lies somewhere else? I don’t want to disappoint those that care and I don’t want to disappoint myself yet it feels like I’m in a war. A war that has my heart in pain. I can no longer see the sun anymore, only the faint planets in the distance. It’s funny because aside from the money I loved my old gig, it provided me some of the most comforting mental stability around. I love earth, yet it feels like at times it doesn’t want me to be there. I hate the idea that I feel like I need to chase happiness by seeking out new planets. It just, doesn’t seem right. I love what I had, and I love it so dearly… “You alright there?” Said both of the ladies simultaneously. I stayed silent as I continued to pilot the spaceship.

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